Is Online Infidelity Really Cheating on Your Partner

Is Online Infidelity Really Cheating on Your Partner Addiction Addictive Behaviors Sex Print The Truth About Online Cheating Even if bodies never touch, you can seriously harm your relationship By Elizabeth Hartney, BSc., MSc., MA, PhD Elizabeth Hartney, BSc, MSc, MA, PhD is a psychologist, professor, and Director of the Centre for Health Leadership and Research at Royal Roads University, Canada. Learn about our editorial policy Elizabeth Hartney, BSc., MSc., MA, PhD Medically reviewed by Medically reviewed by Steven Gans, MD on September 02, 2015 Steven Gans, MD is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital. Learn about our Medical Review Board Steven Gans, MD Updated on January 05, 2020 Mint Images / Getty Images More in Addiction Addictive Behaviors Sex Caffeine Internet Shopping Alcohol Use Drug Use Nicotine Use Coping and Recovery In the past, infidelity was a matter of clandestine meetings, lies about business trips, awkward excuses about the scent of perfume on a dress shirt. Now its possible to become involved with someone other than your spouse or partner by hooking up online. But while it may seem innocent enoughâ€"after all, you arent in physical contactâ€"online cheating really is just that: cheating.   If youve been grappling with this question for any reason (youve been seeing someone over the internet or youre looking for a sexual outlet and are considering surfing around online for it), heres why you should think twice before you log on if youre married or in a committed relationship.   Cheating Is Cheating, No Matter How Its Done Online infidelity is a kind of emotional affair in which the people involved develop a sexually intimate relationship without actually meetingâ€"whats known as cybersex. In fact, they may never even see each others faces or hear each others voices. Without actual physical contact, then, intimacy via the internet may not seem like a real affair. However, an online affair is very much like a physical fling, one that can do lasting harm to a relationship or even an entire family. It can distract the unfaithful partners attention from his or her real-life partner and children, robbing them of important time and attention and causing them to feel neglected and taken for granted.   And like traditional affairs, those that take place over the internet inevitably involve secrecy and lies that have the potential to destroy the trust thats necessary to hold a relationship together.?? Even if the person being cheated on never discovers whats been going on behind his or her back, the bond of trust is broken when a spouse or partner is unfaithful. People having affairs also tend to get angry with their real-life partners, which can lead to further hurt.   The Danger of Going Too Far Once two people begin having cybersex, they can quickly and easily get carried away. Some people even become addicted to online sex, which adds another dimension of difficulty to the situation.?? For a person addicted to cybersex, time spent in front of a computer or screen will likely take up more and more free time, leaving less time and attention for spouse or partner, and family. Another danger of cybersex is that the two people engaging in the affair decide to meet in person. At that point, of course, online infidelity can become physical infidelity, which takes cheating to a different level. Its important to keep in mind that online infidelity, like real-life infidelity, is often a sign that there are problems in a relationship and so ending an online affair may not be enough to put the incident to rest or prevent it from happening again. So rather than turning to the internet to try to find happiness or whatever you feel might be missing from your current relationship, talk to your spouse or partner. Consider couples counseling or therapy for yourself if you cant seem to stop engaging in sexually compulsive behavior. You will save your loved ones from being deeply hurt and yourself from living with guilt or shame.